Don't Let Other People Control How You Feel About Yourself

It is an acknowledged fact that most people do not like themselves to some degree or other and our ability to give our love to others is conditioned by the love we have for ourselves. If we lack self-worth how can we believe that anyone else can love us?

We may have been indoctrinated to give way to others, or speak only when spoken to, or you may have grown up to believe others to be more worthy than you.

Never confuse your worth with your current behavior or the behavior of others towards you.

The need for other peoples approval is dangerous.

To want approval is a positive attribute but to need approval is limiting your freedom of action. What others think of you becomes more important than what you think of yourself. There is no situation in which you can please everybody, whatever you do will upset somebody, therefore look upon some disapproval as being inevitable and learn to live with it.

Seeking other peoples approval results in a number of negative impacts upon your life.

1) Other people control your happiness because they disapprove of you.

2) Because they are controlling how you feel, change is difficult for you.

3) The negative feelings reinforce your poor self image and encourage self pity and rob you of the motivation to take more positive action.

4) They reinforce the idea that you are not personally responsible for the outcome of your life as they control you.

Check the labels you have adopted as your own.

I'm shy, I'm lazy, I'm stupid. These labels reinforce your self defeating behavior from the past.

There are a number of tactics you can use to eliminate these negative beliefs.

1) Until today, I chose to be that way.

2) Inform those near to you that you are denouncing those "I'ms."

3) Set your mind to change the negative thoughts or beliefs you have about yourself.

4) Start a journal to log your destructive behavior.

5) Change these following neurotic sentences,

That's me - into - That was me.

I can't help it - into - I can change this if I work at it.

I've always been this way - into - I am going to be different.

That's my nature - into - That's what I used to believe was my nature.

Get rid of these beliefs as they keep you from growing.

For an more in-depth treatise on self-worth read Dr.Wayne Dwyer's excellent book "Your Errogenous Zones"

Article by - Don Westacott, who has over 35 years experience in sales and sales-management in the advertising and Insurance industries.

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