Self-Confidence Building by Just Being Yourself

Self-confidence is probably one of the biggest factors in what makes people successful. Self confident people are able to do more with less than the average person, primarily because they believe they can. A high self-esteem contributes to self confidence, and many would argue that they are different terms for essentially the same thing. Think about the instances in your past where you were confident about a situation, and remember the outcome. Now think about a time when you were fearful or didn't think you could do something. How often did that turn out as positively?

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If you are like most folks, you have an vast variety of things you are able to do, but only a few you are willing to try to do because you lack the self confidence to go beyond your comfort zone and try. No matter what the area of your life: career, dating, personal goals, education, or just taking care of yourself, you can do better if you first approach each area with positive self confidence. I'm sure you have skills and talents that haven't seen the light of day for some time. Building your self-esteem is an effective way to improve these and put them to good use. You can use the following simple strategy of building self confidence by just being yourself.

Self-confidence is probably one of the biggest factors in what makes people successful. Self confident people are able to do more with less than the average person, primarily because they believe they can. A high self-esteem contributes to self confidence, and many would argue that they are different terms for essentially the same thing. Think about the instances in your past where you were confident about a situation, and remember the outcome. Now think about a time when you were fearful or didn't think you could do something. How often did that turn out as positively?

If you are like most folks, you have an vast variety of things you are able to do, but only a few you are willing to try to do because you lack the self confidence to go beyond your comfort zone and try. No matter what the area of your life: career, dating, personal goals, education, or just taking care of yourself, you can do better if you first approach each area with positive self confidence. I'm sure you have skills and talents that haven't seen the light of day for some time. Building your self-esteem is an effective way to improve these and put them to good use. You can use the following simple strategy of building self confidence by just being yourself.

Know Yourself
To become more self confident, you first need to know who you really are, not the artificial shell you currently hold around yourself for others to see. Most people with low self confidence got that way by listening too much to the opinions of others instead of your own inner voice. Allowing external circumstances to value yourself is another problem, particularly if you are in an economically, educationally or culturally depressed area. Begin by finding ways to turn away from these distracting influences and getting to know your inner voice. As they say on television, "beware of imitations". Your true inner voice is truthful and positive about your talents and skills, not negative or afraid to act due to possible emotional effects of failure. In fact, it is listening to the negative or fearful voices of others around you, or the false, negative inner voice that causes the failures. The old saying "If you think you can do it, you probably can, but if you don't think you can you are certainly right" is more truth than one might think. Approaching any task with a negative expectation sets up for failure instead of success.

One way to turn off the negative flow of emotion is by writing a journal. Write down your thoughts and then ask yourself what's really important to you. Periodically go back and review what you have written on previous days, and make positive, constructive notes on how to change the negatives into positives. The more often you do this, the more you'll find that the self discovery process will build your self esteem.
Another thing you can do is to start studying about how your body works and how your mind works. Learning about the complexities of your body and mind will help develop a greater appreciation of who you really are and may even restore a sense of awe and wonder about yourself that you haven't had since you were a child. This process will also make the next step in building self-esteem easier.

Control Yourself
A major secret of building self confidence is nothing more than learning to control and focus your thoughts and inner voice. This self-control takes time and effort to achieve. It's much like any other training, you have to practice to become proficient. Unfortunately, most people look at self control as a restriction of their freedom, when it is much more the opposite. With better control of your thoughts and actions, you have more opportunity to use your thoughts and actions to get the things you really want, instead of just waiting for "something" to come to you. Through deliberate action you will be better able to control the things in and around your life that really matter. Think of it as something like "self control for fun and profit."

Frankly, the better you get at self control the easier it is to build confidence in your true capabilities. This will allow you to make and keep commitments to yourself and others, and help you take the next step of building self-esteem.

Give Yourself
Giving yourself doesn't mean you allow others to take advantage of your good nature, but making contribution to others. This may be as simple as teaching something you know, or something you want to know more about. There is truth in the saying that you really don't learn a subject until you teach it. Most insecure people are also in the habit of withdrawing from others as part of the process of self-rejection. The opposite is finding a purpose that allows you to make contributions to other people. This allows you to get outside of yourself, and show what you can do, without focus on your own insecurities and hardships. As you continue to do this, you'll find that your insecurities fade away and you will develop a new, more positive self-image.

The more you practice the three concepts above, the closer you will come to being your best self, your true self, the person that is inside you know you really are. You will become the inspiration to others as your live improves and becomes an example of the principles of building a positive self confidence.

To become more self confident, you first need to know who you really are, not the artificial shell you currently hold around yourself for others to see. Most people with low self confidence got that way by listening too much to the opinions of others instead of your own inner voice. Allowing external circumstances to value yourself is another problem, particularly if you are in an economically, educationally or culturally depressed area. Begin by finding ways to turn away from these distracting influences and getting to know your inner voice. As they say on television, "beware of imitations". Your true inner voice is truthful and positive about your talents and skills, not negative or afraid to act due to possible emotional effects of failure. In fact, it is listening to the negative or fearful voices of others around you, or the false, negative inner voice that causes the failures. The old saying "If you think you can do it, you probably can, but if you don't think you can you are certainly right" is more truth than one might think. Approaching any task with a negative expectation sets up for failure instead of success.

One way to turn off the negative flow of emotion is by writing a journal. Write down your thoughts and then ask yourself what's really important to you. Periodically go back and review what you have written on previous days, and make positive, constructive notes on how to change the negatives into positives. The more often you do this, the more you'll find that the self discovery process will build your self esteem.

Another thing you can do is to start studying about how your body works and how your mind works. Learning about the complexities of your body and mind will help develop a greater appreciation of who you really are and may even restore a sense of awe and wonder about yourself that you haven't had since you were a child. This process will also make the next step in building self-esteem easier.

Control Yourself
A major secret of building self confidence is nothing more than learning to control and focus your thoughts and inner voice. This self-control takes time and effort to achieve. It's much like any other training, you have to practice to become proficient. Unfortunately, most people look at self control as a restriction of their freedom, when it is much more the opposite. With better control of your thoughts and actions, you have more opportunity to use your thoughts and actions to get the things you really want, instead of just waiting for "something" to come to you. Through deliberate action you will be better able to control the things in and around your life that really matter. Think of it as something like "self control for fun and profit."

Frankly, the better you get at self control the easier it is to build confidence in your true capabilities. This will allow you to make and keep commitments to yourself and others, and help you take the next step of building self-esteem.

Give Yourself
Giving yourself doesn't mean you allow others to take advantage of your good nature, but making contribution to others. This may be as simple as teaching something you know, or something you want to know more about. There is truth in the saying that you really don't learn a subject until you teach it. Most insecure people are also in the habit of withdrawing from others as part of the process of self-rejection. The opposite is finding a purpose that allows you to make contributions to other people. This allows you to get outside of yourself, and show what you can do, without focus on your own insecurities and hardships. As you continue to do this, you'll find that your insecurities fade away and you will develop a new, more positive self-image.

The more you practice the three concepts above, the closer you will come to being your best self, your true self, the person that is inside you know you really are. You will become the inspiration to others as your live improves and becomes an example of the principles of building a positive self confidence.

Article by Rick Dayle

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