Visual reminders offer a powerful way to assist us change our behaviour. Many of the people I work with as a counsellor are looking for easy to apply and effective techniques that they can try in addressing their anger issues. The purpose of this article is to provide a step by step guide as to how technology can be used as a visual tool for anger behaviour issues. When any of us get angry those around us get to see what we are like. They see what we look like during our anger out burst. Remember that the majority of our communication with others is non-verbal; some say it can be up to 90% of communication is non-verbal. So our family, partners, children and colleagues who see us when we are angry will see us differently to how we see ourselves. They see the ‘anger monster’.
Anger is an emotion; as such it is not bad. It is how the anger is directed and what sits below the anger that is important. Many of the men I work with describe themselves as having anger issues. These men also have other issues going on below their anger. In this way anger is a mask to what they are really feeling. For some men anger is used to mask their feelings of sadness, uncertainly, or confusion. Some might describe these emotions as weakness; I would argue that this not true. We all experience what might be called positive (love or joy) and negative (sadness or fear) emotions, this is all part of being a healthy person. Check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emotions.
The following provides a step by step process as to how you can use technology to create visual reminders for yourself regarding anger management. To complete the steps you will need a digital camera and someone to help you.
1.Have someone who has seen you recently angry describe what you looked like when you get really angry.
2.Next, get this person to help you model that pose including the facial expressions that you display when you get angry. It is important to let the person use you as a living model. The idea is for you to become a living sculpture. The person creating the living model is the one who knows what you look like when you get angry.
3.While holding the modelling pose, have the person take several digital photos of you from different angles.
4.Review the photos; select the photo which is most striking to you – the photo that really shows your anger.
5.You can now use the digital photo as computer wallpaper. Also the photo could be used as wallpaper or background image on your mobile phone.
6.If you would like to take the process one step further, you could place a quote on the photo using a basic editing program. The quote should be something which has significance for you and represents the type of person you would like to be when your anger is used appropriately. An example might be “Is this how I want my son to see me?”
Now, throughout the day, every time you see the photo of yourself in an angry state you are being reminded of the image your anger has on those around you. Using photos in this way is a gentle reminder; every time you see the photo it is acting to reinforce your desire to change your behaviour.
Consider having a look at these wallpapers - http://www.worklifematters.com.au/article/motivational-wallpaper-anger
(c) 2009 Article by Craig Birrell
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