Are you stuck in your life? Do you receive some satisfaction from staying stuck and from no one being able to help you get unstuck? If you are invested in staying stuck, why not do it consciously and deliberately? Here is your guide to never getting unstuck.
1. Make Resistance Your Guiding Light
In order to stay stuck, you must continue to make resistance to being controlled by others, by God, and by your own inner voice more important than being loving to yourself and others. Supporting your own highest good and the highest good of others cannot even be a blip on your screen. As long as you are completely devoted to not being controlled by anyone or anything, you can comfortably and miserably stay stuck. Never make whether or not someone wants to control you irrelevant! Once you make it irrelevant, you will be totally free to decide what you want and take action in your own behalf. This is the last thing you want!
2. Judge Yourself
As long as you continue to judge yourself as a failure, as inadequate, as undeserving and unworthy, you can keep yourself stuck and immobilized. So don't give up the self-judgments, and be sure to continue to judge yourself for judging yourself! Only by making yourself feel really badly, and then, of course denying that you are the one doing it, can you keep yourself stuck while denying that you are the one keeping yourself stuck. After all, you want to create the image that this is just happening to you - that you are just a luckless person - rather than have any one think that you are choosing this.
To stay stuck, it is important that you blame the past, or circumstances, or others, or ill luck, or God for your situation. You must continue to protest that this would not be happening to you if you hadn't had a difficult childhood, or if your parents had been wealthy, or if your partner wasn't always trying to control you, or if God didn't have favorites, or if some people are just lucky and you aren't one of them. In order to continue to see yourself as a victim, you must continue to blame something outside of you.
4. Procrastinate, and Never Do Your Best
Be sure never to do today what you can put off to tomorrow. By putting things off or waiting until someone else does them for you, you never have to face finding out what you can do and what you can't do. Same with never doing your best. If you make sure to do as little as possible to just scrape through, you can continue to avoid the failure that you are certain is going to occur if you do your best. Besides, what's the point of doing your best? Better to get away with a little as possible. Why work hard when you can avoid it? After all, people who work hard just get taken advantage of.
5. Smile, While not Listening
When people close to you - your partner, your children, your employer - point out what you could be doing to get unstuck, smile and nod as if you are listening but think of anything else but what they are saying to you. This way you can get the secret satisfaction of tuning out and resisting them.
6. Do NOT Give Up Your Addictions!
Do you spend hours playing computer games? Do you love gambling? Is alcohol your drug of choice? Or marijuana? Or heroin? Any of these can certainly keep you stuck, so be sure not to stop! Your addictions keep you so disconnected that you will never find the energy to make changes, so it's a really great way to stay stuck.
Finally, you never want to admit to yourself or others that you are stuck. Denial is one of the best ways of staying exactly where you are!
You don't have to be a victim of being stuck in your life - you can actually do this consciously and deliberately!
Article by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner BondingÂ® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org. Phone sessions available.
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