Verbal abuse is not always the obvious loud and shouting kind, with clearly meant open mean and cruel insults being made. Verbal abuse can also be more subtle. The type that takes its tool over a period of time that gradually builds up the pressure until your self esteem crumbles. You may hear shouting from your neighbours, things like "every day for two years you have just keep going on about the same thing".
This doesn't create visible bruises or black eyes, it eats away at your core until your lose your identity and control of your life. This creates a further problem that as no one can see it, you become to embarrassed or ashamed to say anything. You keep it to yourself, bottling it all up. Or you are doing is adding power to the abuser strength and control they have over you. The scars begin to run deeper. It is oh so easy to just pretend nothing is going wrong at all.
Verbal abusers are often the quiet ones. The ones you would never think would do anything like this. Charming in public yet frightful at home. The dream couple on the outside but far front it on the inside. The problem with this subtle verbal abuse is that your inner critic starts belief the reaffirmed daily verbal abuse. Inside you believe it to be true so start acting in the manner the abuser is telling you. The more control is surrender and the stronger the feeling of worthlessness, incompetence and lack of self belief.
The worst thing about it all, is the abuse is just placing their own insecurities on to you. They are giving you their baggage so they don't think they are carrying it. The moment you refuse to carry it, the moment you will regain some self esteem.
Article by - Felix Nutter
Step Up Speak Out
To get more confidence, self-esteem and anxiety tips, visit http://www.stepupspeakout.co.uk to learn more about how to take control of your life
[print_link] For graphic/photo/image credits.